THE HEALTH CARE NIGHTMARE

I stayed up late this morning following the noisy fallout from the Health Care Reform vote. It reminded me of one of those free for all gladiator competitions in the Roman Coliseum when a batch of new competitors were admitted from the provinces. It satisfied some hidden twists in my soul that up to now had remained dormant.
The first thing I did this morning was to see my doctor.
“You don’t look like a socialistic practitioner, doc.” I began.
He looked at me, adjusted his Hermes necktie (233 dollars) and replied;
“Not yet. I begin the indoctrination, conversion and training this evening. It will only last three years but at the end of it I become an Honorable Health Mechanic and Community registered member of the American Peoples Life Court, or in simple words Почетные механик здоровья и зарегистрированный член общины американского суда людей !”
“That is great Doc. Now, what are we going to do about my haircuts. Your barbershop downstairs used to charge me 75 dollar for every haircut and 55 dollars for a shave. I guess that now all that will be free of charge, if we believe Obama and his legions! Right?”
“Not quite my friend. Haircuts and shaves will now be conducted under the supervision of licensed CraniumNneurological Specialists and Skin Face Growth Controllers. You get them free of charge now but their fees and expense will be paid directly by the new Health Care Administration!”
“This is quite a switch”, I said.
“Of course. Now, you can also ask your mother in law to come in any time for a check on her gout, neuritis, arthrosis, headaches, crossed eyes, rheumatism, insomnia and morning and afternoon dizziness. While at it, get also that cute secretary of yours to come and see me after hours so that I can examine her without having to rush the tests I have had in mind for her for some time!”
I love the Health Care Reform!