WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECKTIE?

As I do every morning while dressing for the office, I opened that part of my dressing room that houses my collection of neckties. Staring at me were those colorful Hermes, the English Salsbury, the Italiam Neri & Piccard, the fancy Swiss ties of the Remillard collection and the cheerful Virginia Pitt and Moore delicate silks. Gently, I selected the one whose color and design agreed without reservations with the discreet tones of the suit and the intriguing texture and color of the shirt I would wear that morning.
I carefully wrapped the lovely piece and tied it properly to my neck so that the image reflected in the mirror quietly confirmed that the right necktie added that sense of harmony, sobriety and charm that made the entire assembly something to admire and envy!
Then, I remembered. Today was the day when we would meet with the directors of Bella Horizons, the huge Investment Bank that would hopefully agree to utilize the services of our Law Firm. I stopped in front of the mirror and faced a serious dilemma. The Bella bank, in an effort to remove from popular perception the look of the greedy, multi million dollar bonus-enhanced wealthy officers, had suddenly decided – and following the now common fashion – not to wear neckties.
For an instant I hated George Clooney, Brad Pitt and President Obama. George in particular had contributed more than the others, to the dismissal of such important part of proper attire. He had developed with unique care and a touch of sophisticated indifference, that open neck shirt fashion that, coupled with his gently sarcastic smile had managed to seduce both male and female audiences the world over.
The neck tie was silently and without a decent form of rejection, turned into an unnecessary piece of clothing that could be discarded without any negative reaction or any form of protest.
Brad Pitt followed silently. He just made sure that those throbbing embraces with Angelina, did not prevent a clear view of his tie-less, manly chest. He did not look all that bad, especially when he had Angelina in his arms.
And then, we have President Barack Obama. All of a sudden, the White House acquired the flavor of a modest high school in the Pennsylvania hills; no ties in sight. Even the serious ones that march with frowns on their faces and a suspicious twist of tight lips, while they ponder whether the measures they proposed a decade earlier are still acceptable, walked around without neckties. And they looked terrible, like those measures they proposed.
The President’s example however, must be followed, out with the neckties! Our beloved president does not look great without a neck tie. There is no romance as in the case of George, or the sense of adventure we easily perceive in Brad’s looks. President Obama was not created to go around without a necktie. His physical profile strongly suggests a subtle tie or a coquettish bow tie, but never an open collar shirt.
To make a story short, I attended the meeting that day and looked different but proud from those necktie-less idiots!
The meeting somehow was cut short by our potential client. I am inclined to believe that they felt a bit ashamed of their ridiculous but casual tie-less look compared to the neat and harmonious look that I am sure I projected. We did not get the contract and my own boss, tie-less, asked me to resign, but agreed to fork out the 15 million dollar compensation clause in my contract.
I am looking for a job now! And buying new ties!


* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.